During the workshop we were asked to practise active listening. Our job was to take it in turns to listen to each other for 5 minutes without interruption and then repeat back what we had heard. I thought, 'great, this is my opportunity to be heard'. I said to my boyfriend, “My issue with you is, you get defensive and I never get to fin..….,” when he interrupted me with “I’m not defensive!” 

 
I have since moved on from that relationship and continued on my journey. Along the way I have identified that my number one human need is growth. My thirst for self-knowledge led me to want to learn how to communicate better and this has been my passion and profession ever since. 
 

I have been a practicing therapist and Master Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner for over 20 years, working with individuals and couples to improve their relationships. It wasn't until being introduced to NLP techniques that I was able to bring my unconscious values into alignment with what I truly wanted in life. This was nothing short of profound.  

 

It’s cliché to say I’m passionate but wow…… the fire that burns in me, is strong.  

 

I have chosen to put this energy into helping others avoid unnecessary family breakups or at the very least to provide couples with resourceful communication strategies that can help them navigate their way through separation while protecting their most important assets - their children. 

 

It should be said that before I moved on from my ‘not defensive’ boyfriend, I married him. We had two gorgeous children but ultimately, we parted ways. 

 

As a single parent, one coping strategy I shared with my kids was to read a poster that hung above our kitchen table. The words of the poster begin “As I grow…”, as if a child is speaking to a parent. I read it to give me the strength to continue, as it reminded me that it wasn’t about me - it was about them.  

 

As I Grow

 

Please….. 

Understand that I am growing up and changing very fast. It must be difficult to keep pace with me but please try. 

Listen to me and give me brief, clear answers to my questions. Then I will keep sharing my thoughts and feelings. 

Pay attention to me and spend time with me. Then I can believe that I am important and worthwhile. 

D